Walk Tall, Kick Ass

NOBODY ASKED ME, BUT……
By Anthony Bourdain

I actually WATCH Food Network now and again, more often than not drawn in by the progressive horrors on screen. I find myself riveted by its awfulness, like watching a multi-car accident in slow motion.

RACHAEL: ...We KNOW she can’t cook. So...what is she selling us? Really?

PAULA DEEN: ...A recent Hawaii show was indistinguishable from an early John Waters film. And the food on a par with the last scene of Pink Flamingos.

SANDRA LEE: Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped.

But not all is bad...
THAT ACE OF CAKES GUY: Hey…He’s got talent!